![]() Raised in your huge extermination camps, I reek with the aroma Now I’m just nuggets, strips, fast finger foodīalancing my giant breast that you intend to gobble I scratched for bugs & cock-a-doodle-dooed I am Popeye’s, Chick-fil-A, and Buffalo WildĮat me white meat in Chinese crispy salad I am hot flightless wings in your KFC bucket How many people think this is a plausible solution? That percentage worked in the “People Power Revolution” in The Philippines against Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos, and in the “Bulldozer Revolution” that overthrew Slobodan Milosevic in Serbia. Established in 2018 in the United Kingdom by academics from working class backgrounds, they believe they will win if they mobilize 3.5 percent of the population as activists. Who wants to be squid? Extinction RebellionĮxtinction Rebellion (XR) is a global activist group that wants to use nonviolent civil disobedience to force governments to be carbon neutral by 2025. Plus, male squid have the longest penises in the animal world, as long as their entire body. More space to romp in, more arms to multi-task. Who hopes this happens? Who’s a gopher-wannabes? Become Squidħ0 percent of the Earth is ocean, and squid have eight arms and two tentacles. Gophers figured it out! We can follow them into the dirt, leaving Go-Pros on the top side, so we can view stupid sunsets, if we really care about that. The next solution is - if the world burns up, or floods, or nuclear bombs explode, or the air is poisoned - all we need to do is - move underground! Like gophers! They’re safe! Cozy gophers, in a stable temperature, no stress like up here. ![]() Who says this will happen? Me, Elon Musk, anyone else? LIve underground like gophers with Virtual Reality Ultra-AI will solve climate problems in 13 minutes, and then move on, solving other more difficult dilemmas like Death, Acne, and Parking. A super-smart robot, like 6 Asperger brains squished together, will - by 2030 at the latest - provide humans with all the answers for everything. “Singularitarians” believe Artificial Ultra-Intelligence will save us. ![]() Who believes this will happen, besides my Mom? Raise your hands. I’m know I’m in the blessed 2.5% - right? One expert thinks this will happen by 2029 - very soon! Rapture people will fly up into the sky, but they will leave their clothes behind. Applauseģ) A third cult, called Christianity, believes “The Rapture” will save about 200 million people, the remaining 7.8 billion - not so lucky. Who else believes it? Other than Fred thanks Fred. I am absolutely convinced this will happen. Ramtha offers two options we will either be saved by Donald Trump, or by aliens hiding in mountains in southwest France. Let’s applaud her - Clap Clap Clap.Ģ) Ramtha’s School of Enlightenment, in the state of Washington, channels the spiritual teachings of a 35,000 year old Lemurian warrior, who slayed the civilization of Atlantis. I believe her, don’t you? How many in the audience are sure this will happen? Other than Carol [aside} thanks for telling me about this. She says there’s an alien portal on Khao Kala mountain that will open up and rescue humanity in an emergency. She has been communicating for 20 years with tiny-mouth, energy-pill-popping aliens from Pluto and another planet called Lokukapakadikong. First: Extra-Terrestial Salvationġ) There’s a Thailand cult called “UFO Kaokala” led by Ajarn Wassana Chuensumnaun. They will actually be competing to rescue humanity. Sarcastic Narrator: We don’t have to worry about “the world ending” due to climate problems because there are so many very extremely likely scenarios that will absolutely save us. Guaranteed Solutions to halt Climate Catastrophe (audience votes on scenarios depicted in slides) Into a giant ice skating rink for polar bears Greta, Renee and a penguin herd move in and party With a fort around it to keep the 74 glaciers inside Until One Billion little girls start screaming,īut a penguin named Renee swims 12,000 miles,ĭodging tiger sharks, to chirp her the news Wonder Woman is under-dressed - she layers up like a marshmallow & is blown away Thor throws his hammer, he loses it and cries Hulk pushes at the glacier, he shivers, turns pink and quitsĪquaman throws waves at the glacier, fish stick to the front and scold him “Call the Super Heroes!” say the scientists They bomb Antarctica and make everything worse They hide in underground bunkers with whisky & pedophiles “There’s nothing we can do!” say the politicians “There’s nothing we can do!” say the billionaires. ![]() ![]() My babies are veal, now it’s your turn to squeal Grand Total: 130 billion pounds of manure dropping daily My four stomachs turn this into flammable gasġ.3 billion cattle on Earth pooping every 20 minutes I am the steer who guides your extinction I am the Taurus that clear cut the Amazon ![]()
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